DCC Campaign Update
In this weekend's DCC campaign adventure, it was shockingly confirmed that:
-The assassin's guild are definitely not a community college.
-The assassin's guild are, however, the proprietors of the worst-kept "secret" hideout in all of Archome
-The assassin's guild are also mediocre-quality leather-workers.
-The Dwarves definitely know how to hold a grudge. They also know how to air grievances, file complaints, list lamentations, and take two or three days to answer simple questions.
-The Dwarves are also absolute masters of defensive fighting, which might explain why they lost their ancient homelands.
-The Snake Witch does not like having her rumpy-bumpy interrupted with requests for snack breaks.
-The Snake Witch is also an advocate for slow and very painful capital punishment.
-Trying to Charm one of the Snake Witch's public employees is a very dangerous idea, but may just get you somewhere.
-The Desert Nomad's Camel-Milk Wine is very potent stuff; and may have you waking up next to two burly nomads, a midget, a dancing bear, three whirling dervishes, a tapestry-illustrator, and a particular smarmy alcoholic Chaos Lord.
-Putting Nitroglycerine in a flask does nothing to improve its carrying safety.
-The Desert of Destruction is not nearly as dangerous as it sounds.
-The Plain of Glass is also not nearly as dangerous as it sounds.
-The Valley of Garbage is much, much more dangerous than it sounds.
-There are good slimes and bad slimes, and ways to differentiate between the two.
-Mutagentic Goo Slime and Bleach do not mix.
-It is strategically unwise to attack your opponents from the higher ground of a hill of soiled diapers.
-Large diaper-related explosions only attract more Bugbears.
-Bugbears in the world of the Last Sun are literally crosses between bugs and bears.
-Low-intellect Chaos Swords mostly just keep trying to get you to steal stuff.
-Blasters do nothing against Gelatinous Cube Slimes; Phasers, on the other hand, are fairly effective. Magic Missiles still work best.
-The Crystal of the Tyrant did not actually belong to the Tyrant; it was meant to keep the Tyrant imprisoned.
-Dwarves built their machines big, and built them to last. Their warning messages, not so much.
-When surrounded by hundreds of Eye Tyrants and their King, the only chance you really have is to make them laugh.
-Never trust an Elf in desperate search of a potion of Intelligence.
-An ancient Dwarven Particle Beam Cannon can slice a dragon in two.
-The Snake Witch rarely forgives, and she never forgets; so you had better.
Finally, in 2014, 10-year-old boys are surprisingly nonchalant about a magic missile spell turning them into a girl every time they cast it, as long as it does a lot of damage.
Currently Smoking: Neerup Egg + Rattray's Accountant's Mix