So, I have watched "The Time of the Doctor". And I loved it. What a magnificent sendoff for the 11th (or 12th? Or was it 13th?) Doctor! In many ways, it was far better done than The End of Time; both for not having a first-part that sucked ass, and for doing much more to tie in with everything that the 11th doctor had been all about, to tie up loose ends, and to have this Doctor sign out doing something other than whining like a little bitch about not wanting to go.
Plus we got our first five seconds or so of Peter Capaldi. If there's one thing to be pissed off about is that the BBC is now seriously expecting us all to wait until September to get any more.
I thought that as an ending it was touching and iconic and very right. And then, imagine my surprise when I log onto the interwebs, and find that there's a string of uber-nerds out there, the type that dislike the popularization of nerd culture because it means they might have to interact with humans, and talk about dumb things like feelings instead of discussing Aquaman, who have been shitting all over the final episode of the Matt Smith doctor and the new series in general.
"The plot made no sense!", they whine.
"there were humans on that planet for no reason!" they bitch.
"Scientifically, they would all freeze to death" they moan
"Alien #17 doesn't act in the way he should based on a book I have from a semi-canonical source!" they agonize.
"the technology makes no sense and is all over the place" they cry
("you know what I love about Doctor Who?" I answer, snickering with glee "he has a sonic screwdriver; just one piece of tech, and it does whatever the fuck he wants, unless its better that he can't then it doesn't. And it was invented by Jehovah just to drive all the fucking mouth-breathing tech-nerds nuts!")
"They never explained point x that no one else cares about now but I refuse to stop obsessing about like the pathetic little self-diagnosed-aspergerite I am!!" they wail.
Fuck all of you.
I love the ones saying "the new Doctor Who isn't science-fiction!"; inevitably comparing it to some infinitely more boring series like one of the horrible Stargate franchises, those shows written for people who need to know all the specs for the guns everyone is wearing but could only make a vague shot-in-the-dark guess as to how normal people feel about each other.
Yes, you dumbfuck, if that's what you imagine as "science fiction", then I suppose that Doctor Who is not that. But we're taking even that away from you now. You don't deserve it. No one gives a shit about 'Canon', no one cares about your obsessive-compulsive insistence on 'consistency', and absolutely no one gives a flying fuck about the fact that you're stupid enough to think that 'stargate' is a superior work of human storytelling than Doctor Who.
Most people don't even remember there was a 'stargate'. 500 years from now, people might still be studying Doctor Who. Shit, they might still be telling his stories.
So yeah, Doctor Who isn't 'science fiction', in the sad limited sense you imagine that term; Doctor Who is MYTH. He is a modern motherfucking God. Its not science, its Religion. Its not about being 'consistent' its about being Amazing.
Matt Smith was amazing. And I'm sure Peter Capaldi will be too. Because at this point, its not just about acting. Its about embodying an archetype.
Now we wait, in the dark of the long night these nine months to come, waiting for the new man in the old blue box, wondering what he'll be, and what he'll show us.
Currently Smoking Gigi Bent Billiard + Dunhill 965